how parenting and typhoons changed my life

as i savor my time to be home early i recall the topic in our young cfc household last night and it makes me more and more excited with the coming year. read below why...

after a short worship, our household head explained our topic for that night and it was not at all what i thought it would be...there were no scripture readings, teachings and reflections to read and ponder on...instead, we were simply asked to look back and recall the highlights of the year that was, our learnings, the lows and our plans for the future. what i thought would be a very simple topic turned out to be a very substantial one.

each husband and wife shared their own unforgettable experiences, learnings and plans for the coming year and indeed it felt great seeing and hearing how much we have all grown in the past year.

GROW, one of the words that i can very well relate to this year. yes, i've grown (physically, yes at some point) but more so, i've grown as a person, as a woman of God...as a wife to my husband.

Having a husband who is assigned in the province since our 4th month as married couple did not give us exactly the ideal set-up for married couples. though we have our own house, i never went home everytime mark is away, instead i stayed with my parents. with that, i rarely felt that i was married since i was living like a single lady for 4 to 5 days a week! but this year, 2 major experiences changed my outlook on life.

the first was my major activity at work: the parent-daughter bonding. i've been wanting to write about that experience because it has definitely made me see a glimpse on how it feels like to be a parent to seven, yup, 7, different children (as represented by the seven sections of grade 5 students that i handle.) this major activity was a major stressor in my life during the months of september and october. read on to get a better picture of it:

1. the planning stages were as difficult as trying to conceive our own bundle of joy. i had to conduct researches, the intensity of which is probably similar to all the work ups and preparations that a married couple need to undergo in order to conceive.

2. when finally you have conceived, here comes rearing and nurturing of the children...believe me, handling 7 sessions of parent-daughter bonding (each lasting for 4 hours) was a tough challenge on my part! each group of students and parents had their own personalities...there were those who were active, some were passive and a handful were really challenging on my part. just like any set of children, they will all have their own individualities and as a parent, one must learn how to handle each one uniquely.

3. as if the first 2 were not enough, add to them the time when my notebook's BIOS system got corrupted while i was in the middle of doing all the power point presentations and AVPs needed for the sessions. i cried so hard and could not stay put until the IT crew of acer affirmed me that everything will be alright. i can just imagine how wary i would feel when my own child would get sick! luckily, i have a husband who stayed calm and supported me in everything i needed to accomplish.

4. fourth on the list would be the sleepless nights (because of last minute preps for each session) but having to wake up early in the morning just because i need to be at work at 7am and start my session at 8am! so similar to the life of parents with babies who seem to be nocturnal and would be up all night! hahaha!

haaay. i don't even want to think about all the stress that i went through just to make the parent-daughter bonding session! anyway, that experience made me realize how 'ready' i am to be a parent to the gift that God will *hopefully* soon bless us with.

another highlight of my year came last october when calamities struck the country. both during ondoy and pepeng, mark and i were not together, physically that is. he was stranded in NLEX during ondoy's wrath and isolated in baguio when pepeng hit north luzon. that time i realized how it really feels like to be a wife who is worried about her husband and would want nothing but to see him, hold him and feel him beside me.

moreso, i have proven that, even if i was with my parents during both times, no one can replace the presence of mark - my husband. and with that, i felt that i have grown braver and stronger especially in facing what lies ahead for 2010. because of the calamities, i was convinced that life is really short and that we should savor every moment that we have with our lovedones...since then i vowed that i will choose to be wherever my husband will be. it's about time i let go and let God...i have my own plans especially career wise, but i know where i am going now... i know where i belong and i am learning to create total dependency in our God...the source of all life and love...the beginning and the end.

though i may have to forego some plans for the moment, i know that i will not regret it for i exchanged it with something MORE, something that not even the richest person in the whole wide world can buy! it is the priceless feeling of being beside the person that matters to you most while you both weave your dreams for the future, overcome hurdles along the way and walk hand in hand to the plan that the Master has laid for you both.

the duck in the pond...

"a duck in the pond is calm and carefree,
but what you don't see under the water
is the struggling and stressed feet..."

this text message has been sitting in my inbox since last september when a very good friend sent it to me. i decided to save it for the rainy days, well, just in case a friend or a loved one would need an inspiring thought or simply need a boost from all the things that are happening to him or her...i saved the message not knowing that it would be me who would benefit from it a couple of months later.

today, i am able to relate to this duck more than any other day. yes, i've had trials and challenges in the past few months but it was only now when i can actually say that i feel how the duck feels...how it seems to look so calm and carefree while deep down under the water, it's feet are struggling.

work and other obligations have been quite overwhelming the past few days. no, i am not complaining, in fact i am one person who secretly enjoys being busy and occupied until i can hardly keep my eyes from shutting. well, i guess i should have looked further before i took a leap for just this morning, i finally gave in. this morning i cried. i cried because of disappointments with unmet expectations. i cried because i felt scared that i might have too much on my hands at the moment. i cried for plans still waiting to be executed...i cried for dreams still waiting to be granted. i cried for many other reasons i can really never completely enumerate...BASTA, i cried and it surprisingly felt good Ü

after all the crying, i am thankful for a husband who has always been so supportive and understanding of my shortcomings, demands and idealism. i am thankful for him whose mere voice on the phone can pacify and calm my troubled heart and mind...indeed, i am affirmed that i made the right decision of marrying him not actually during the 'highs' but more of during the 'lows.' he has been living it up with the true meaning of being MY 3G - God's Greatest Gift and i will forever be thankful for that.

P.S. this is just my 2nd day of writing in my blog site and i was hoping to fill it up with happy and bubbly thoughts first, well atleast for the first few entries, but what can i say...i was struck with a different kind of inspiration today...nonetheless, i'm still hoping to spread those happy and bubbly thoughts in the NEAR future ♥

and so another adventure begins...

i'm one of the many-few who enjoy following other people's blogs and learning more about not only what they wrote but moreso, about the person who wrote it. interesting...inspiring...challenging...these are the thoughts that come to my mind whenever i read blogs (of people i know and even those who i don't personally know) making me want to start a blogsite of my own since...forever!
i've been a member (by force, not by choice) of our school's creative writing enrichment group both when i was in grade school and high school and i guess it's about time that i tap on that urge to write once again, before it totally slips out of my system!
and so today, 11.11.09, i embark in another adventure of starting and hopefully, maintaining my very own blogsite Ü
as the purple ink flows, may it also interest, inspire and challenge its readers, until inks with all the colors of the rainbow flow!