its been a while since i last blogged and yeah, i'd have to admit that it's not because i have nothing to blog about but mainly because i was too lazy to write one during the past few days...months!
however, after visiting a number of blog sites, i found myself inspired to update my own blog site and write about something that has been preoccupying me for the past few months...no it's not plants vs. zombies! it's about the two lines that will forever change my husband and i's lives...so here it goes --
since mark & i have been married, we've been really dreaming of having our own baby! yes, unsual as it may sound for some [or most?] who would probably want to enjoy themselves first before having an additional family member, mark & i didn't mind welcoming and enjoying our lives together with a little mark or little cesca tagging along.
the first two years of our marriage were not that kind to us though. we've had our share of crying and disappointment everytime we'd see signs of me getting pregnant only to find just one line on the pregnancy test kit. i cannot recall how many one-lined PT kits we've seen in the past two years. we even came to the point when we couldn't be bothered to check anymore because we did not want to be disappointed again and again. we thought if it's really meant to be, it will just happen! thus, we just decided to spend our time enjoying ourselves, travelling with family and friends and buying almost all the stuff that we needs plus the ones we just wanted.
fast forward to 2010, when we decided to leave for australia to see our options and for mark to pursue his dream of taking up culinary arts. mark left january 2010 and i soon followed in june of the same year. we were so excited for the change that is happening in our marriage -- the independence, all the learnings and adventure -- they were priceless! though we'd miss our family and our old lives back in manila, we felt overwhelmed with all the opportunities that came our way in australia. as we rediscovered ourselves, our passion and longing for a child of our own was also rekindled. thus we can say we did try harder to have a baby, but this time, without much expectations.
a couple months passed and every month i would still get my period right on the time when i expect it to come...not until last september when i first experienced being delayed for more than 3 days. i've been monitoring my period, and so far the longest time i was delayed was 3 days, nothing more than that. i told mark about what's happening but at the same time, reminded him not to get his hopes high for there were many factors that may have caused the change in my cycle -- the weather [it was still winter that time...], my adjustment to my new life overseas, my new work, the kinds of food we eat, etc. etc. etc.
so i just waited, and waited, and waited for the period to came. it was not until i was a week delayed when i decided to check. i remember mark even left early from work that day just to be able to buy the PT kit [since most of the shops here in Au close t 5pm...yes, so early!:( ]
it was the 24th of september, friday and we both had work. when we got home, mark was so excited to see the results but i was unsure if i should do the test that night or wait til the morning [since they say it is more advisable to do it in the morning] i decided to surf the net first to take my mind of doing the test while mark fell asleep waiting for me to actually do the test. around 10 in the evening, i decided to go for it.
i did not exactly know how i would feel when i stepped in the bathroom to do what i was supposed to do. i was feeling light headed at the same time a bit confused with how to use the PT kit since it was not the same as the ones we usually use back in the philippines. i was so keen in following the instructions since i did not want to ruin the test because of my carelessness. so there i sit waiting for the result...i was nervously looking at the stick as it absorbed the urine...there it is...one line | ...just like what i always see before...but wait...is that a faint second line i see | | ?!? i looked at the leaflet that came with the PT kit just to confirm if what i am seeing is true [you think you know but wait til you're actually there seeing it...hahaha!] after reading the leaflet i looked at the stick again and the faint second line was not that faint anymore. i could not believe my eyes when i saw the two lines on the stick!!! the first thing i did was pray and thank God for this miracle...for this great blessing. i was filled with excitement, gratitude and yes, i'd have to admit, i was also a bit nervous.
back then, i used to think of creative ways on how to tell mark we're having a baby...but all those plans did not matter, i simply ran into our room, woke him up and showed him the stick with two lines. he did not immediately understood what it meant because i just stood there beside our bed smiling at him. i think it took about 2 minutes before he realized that yes, we're pregnant!
both teary-eyed, we hugged and took photos of the kit and ourselves [of course!] to document another happiest day of our lives...and we know with these two lines, our lives will never be the same again | | .
it's been a week since i had my big 3-0 celebration here in AU. it was my very first time to celebrate my birthday away from my family and friends, but nevertheless, i can say that my celebration for this year was indeed special!
there were no big surprises this time but believe it or not, i felt as much loved prolly even more...WHY? simply because i witnessed how much effort each and everyone of my family here in AU exerted just to make me feel extra special like a princess that day...and they did!;)
i loved how everyone here at home were able to greet me at the first hour of my birthday since there were still awake when the clock struck 12...
i loved how miguel surprised me with an origami flower with matching 'acting' pa to show his birthday note for me...
i loved how the priest's homily that day reminded me of having total dependence on God and how it mightily works, all the time...
i loved how kuya oliver took pics and uploaded them right away in FB...
i loved how ate noemi prepared my most requested pesto and the other yummy dishes for my birthday lunch...
i loved receiving gifts that were actually on my wish list [a new home for nikola and a hair styler to name a few...super appreciate them!]
i loved how i received cards with such thoughtful messages and notes...really, i was touched...
i loved how 100++ family and friends remembered to greet me on my birthday through FB and twitter...
i loved how my families back in pinas also had their own celebration of my birthday...
i loved how i was able to talk to papa and mama over the phone that day...
i loved how my dearest hubby made me feel so much loved that day...
and most of all, i loved how the big guy up there made all these things possible and made me feel [again!] in awe of His greatness!
i loved everything...[what's not to love?!?]
i LOVE being 30!♥
God is indeed a God of order and perfect timing. the week i arrived in australia was mark's last week in school, which meant 3 weeks of school holiday for him since it was the end of their term. truly, it was the perfect time for us to catch up, bond, go on mini-adventures and out of the blue dates. it also allowed him to accompany me with my job hunting, especially since i am not that familiar with the place yet. lo and behold, it was within these 3 weeks where in we both found jobs [his second and my first ;)] *yey!* during this time, i also acquired the major things i need to be able to secure a job -- my first aid certificate and my blue card. it was a wonderful and well-spent 3 weeks for us, indeed!
during these weeks God has marvelled us with His power and greatness! He was is really in control.
now, after 3 weeks of school holiday, mark went back to school today, july 12, 2010. though the alarm clock he set before we went to bed did not ring, he woke up just in time to prepare and catch the bus. i in turn got up as well prepared a clean shirt for him to wear, a hanky and his 'baon' for the day. it felt great to be able to serve my husband my own little ways! after he left i spent some time praying and then checked my emails, FB and twitter. later i plan to go to the grocery since some of our stuff need to be replenished...then read a book and go on line in between ;) it's going to be a long day for me as i wait for mark to get home at around 8 in the evening especially since it's our first time to be apart for the the whole day here in australia. just the same, i know that God will bless our "first day funk" as much even more than He blessed our first 3 weeks together.
it's been almost a month since i arrived in australia and despite all the free time i've got...i failed to blog more often lately. it's not as if i can't find anything worth blogging about but it's just that i can't seem to find the right words to express my emotions and to translate into words my experiences down here. nonetheless, if i were to choose one word to encapsulate how i feel about my present life here in australia i believe it would be the word "Up."
indeed mark and i have been blessed the past few weeks and we only have God to thank for everything that has been happening in our lives. we know that there are still a lot of blessings in store for us and that all our plans will fall into place in His perfect time, just like what one of our dear YCFC sister said -- "we were meant to bask under the blessings of God ;)"
despite the terrible heat after work, i was so excited to drop by the grocery store to buy spaghetti ingredients (staple for any children's party) and then go to a nearby bakeshop to buy cake (it will not be a party without one!)...and as if celebrating our dear Bait's birthday is not enough blessing, my day turned even better when my dad and brother took time to pick me up from the bakeshop since i have no idea how i could go home with all the stuff i needed to carry. yey!
if i were to describe the mood that afternoon, i would say that we were all excited to celebrate Bait's first birthday and true enough her first birthday celebration was so much fun...but it would have been more fun though if mark was there to join in the celebration ;)
so what makes her so special?
Bait has been with us for only 7 months, but she has definitely etched her place in our hearts (mind you not only to mark and i, but even to our respective families!) her cute antics and unbelievable energy simply amaze us! because of her, my toxic days are more lighter, my tiredness more tolerable and my longing for Mark somehow lessened. i cannot imagine how my life would be if she did not come into our lives. ( never ending thanks to T. Rachel for that Ü)
bait indeed made a big difference in our lives, and it is but right that we make her feel very special on her day...her very first birthday, a year of blessings!
"IT IS BETTER TO BE LOVING THAN TO BE RIGHT."
EASIER SAID THAN DONE.
very recently, i've been thinking about this statement -- a lot. i am caught between being loving and being right -- and honestly, it's hard to choose. it's hard especially when the person involved is close to you...someone you care for and someone you know deserves better! the fact that i am not the only one feeling the same way does not make it any easier. someone even once said that a true friend will be honest with you, will tell you everything even if it means you will get hurt while the opposite will just tell you to do what ever makes you happy. i'm afraid i'm becoming the later lately. :s
so what is a true friend really supposed to do this time -- be right or be loving?
i came across this phrase when i was in youth for christ (YFC). back then when i was as just a new member of the community, i found it difficult to accept such statement. but as i grew in the community and had the privilege to be one of the youth leaders, i gradually realized what this statement is all about. it simply meant that we should always strive to act like Jesus, our Savior, who despite all the times that we have failed Him, He never turned his back on us, instead He would wait patiently for us as He gradually moves in mysterious ways for us to realize our mistakes. not only that, He would always be there to welcome us with open arms afterwards...no if's, no but's.
despite this, the fact still remains -- my "BEING RIGHT" urges me to tell that person my thoughts and my feelings and sort of do a reality check. however, by doing so, i endure the risk of bursting someone's happy bubble. can i really bear that? my "BEING LOVING" tells me i can't.
so what really is the RIGHT thing to do? well, for now i resolve to just be happy for the person...while tactfully sharing my honest opinions...and finally, when the need arises, be there to listen and comfort -- with no if's and no but's ü
in the end, i think there is really no "better"...because we should BE BOTH: loving and right, after all.♥
last night, i had one of the best dinner dates i've ever had and it was with my first love -- my papsy. even if we were just at home i considered that dinner to be really special.
first, it was only the two of us having dinner (attendance check: my mom's in a meeting, archie's not yet home from work, ian's in his OJT and ej's with his friends) thus, we were the only ones present in the family ;)
second, it was full of wisdom and i guess i needed to hear those words especially since i only have about 8 weeks to go here in the philippines. i believe it was God's plan to make me go home early yesterday even if i decided to go to the mall after work to shop for a few things that i will bring with me to AU.
my dinner date with my papsy was God's perfect way of reassuring me that the family i will leave behind will be fine. don't get me wrong...we are not a perfect family, in fact part of our conversation over dinner was about how my mom would be so moody for the past few days, the increasing present cost of living (which was made very evident with our Meralco bill which increased by a whopping two-thousand pesos!!!), one of our househelp who suddenly decided to go back to the province, my dad's business and other concerns that believe me are not ideal at all.
so why was i able to say that our talk was reassuring? it's simple...because i saw how God is present in my father's life despite all these concerns and difficulties in our family. he carried a positive outlook in life that i never felt i had to worry about them once i leave. while listening to him, i realized how lucky my mom is for having a very understanding husband and how lucky my brothers and i are for having a father who is a good provider and is very supportive of all our endeavors. never did he made me feel that he did not believe in any of us. his words were full of affirmations and support in anything that we want to do in life...anything that we wanted to be in life.
these words, these kinds of are the memories are the ones that i will bring with me once i leave to join my Mark in australia, so that i will be full of wisdom, passion and optimism in the new life that i will soon face.
P.S. i really thank God for precious moments like this with the people that matter to me a lot, just like my FIRST love...my father, my -- papsy ♥
my plans of writing regularly on this blog site took a back seat as mark's scheduled flight to AU neared. ironically though, i wanted to sustain this blog site even i'm quite sure no one else reads it (well, except for my husband who in one way or another found this link even without me sharing it with him!LOL!)
and now, i can feel that i will be able to write more often as i gradually accomplish the other "priorities" i had to face before and after mark left for AU. i know that there will be plenty of free time for me to write and i am thankful to our Lord for the privilege to be busy in the past years and the opportunity to rest and take a break for the coming months (well, not for a long time, i pray Ü)
...so this is the comeback, when the purple ink blots...oppps! i mean blogs again ;)
